In a recent television series, The Madison, the protagonist, a woman named Stacy, played by Michelle Pfeiffer, is grieving the accidental death of her husband, Preston, played by Kurt Russell, and is considering having his physical remains buried on a hillside near his mountain retreat in Montana. It overlooks his favorite fishing spot on the Madison River, a setting that was very dear to him, one he would annually escape to from the hustle and bustle of New York City, where he enjoyed much luxury but too much noise. When a granddaughter asked Stacy if her grandfather was in heaven, Stacy told her that heaven is right here on earth and doing what he loved best, fishing. It was clear that Stacy had no religious or spiritual beliefs.
Several earlier scenes showed Preston catching fish, unhooking them and throwing them back in the river. He displayed pure ecstasy. Catching a fish was the ultimate experience for him. You could hear the triumphant music playing. While awaiting the burial service, Stacy attempted fishing in Preston’s favorite spot and was able to experience similar joy. She didn’t understand it before, but now it all made sense to her. No religious heaven could top the joy of catching a fish.
The mortician supported Stacy’s plan to have her husband buried on the hillside overlooking the river, commenting that he knew her husband and was sure that “he would want to spend eternity there.” The grieving widow considered moving from her luxurious New York suite to the mountain cabin so that she could be with Preston and fish with his essence the rest of her life.
When Preston and Paul, his brother, both victims of a small plane crash while returning from another treasured fishing spot, were buried on the Montana hillside, Stacy was asked by the mortician if she wanted to say anything. She told him she had nothing to say, nor had Preston’s two adult daughters. The mortician then took it upon himself to give a short talk, mentioning heaven, the Lord, and faith. Stacy reacted to his words with a very angry and hostile expression. She and her daughters were products of modern hedonism and didn’t appreciate such religious folly.
Interestingly, Stacy did not opt for cremation, but invested in the most expensive caskets for both Preston and Paul. The older daughter, Abigail, walked up to Paul’s casket and cursed him, as he was the pilot of the small plane that crashed and took her father’s life. Before the plane crash, Paul had a discussion with Preston about religion, commenting that God does not exist because no god would have permitted his wife to be run down and killed in a crosswalk. He adamantly wanted nothing to do with religious talk.
Back in New York City, Stacy consulted a psychologist and demanded that he help her overcome her grief. However, nothing he said helped her and they both turned to getting drunk in his office. Of course, it would have been very unprofessional for the therapist to have suggested that Preston’s consciousness is continuing after death, even if he believed that. That’s beyond psychology. I suspect he would have had his license taken away if it had gone in that direction. However, even if he was a believer, there would have been nothing he could say to convince her. She would have stormed out of his office had he dared begin such a discussion.
My immediate reaction to the burial scene was to think that if I had to spend eternity looking across a river to the other side of the mountain, or just standing in a river and fishing, I’d prefer total extinction. I’ve encountered such reasoning in cemeteries a number of times, especially having to do with the view from cemetery plots or the beauty surrounding the cemetery, the solitude of which must certainly be appreciated by the deceased. For some reason this mindset seems to be assumed by screenwriters as consistent with a religious approach. That’s what “resting in peace” is all about, as I interpret it. Consciousness survives death but it is forever attached to the remains, or perhaps it is attached only until that day of judgment far into the future, a few thousand years or so. Whether it is for eternity or a thousand years, I doubt that the movie will appeal to those with a nihilistic approach or that many will be rushing to be baptized and “born again.”
The first year of the six-part series ends with Stacy flying from Manhattan back to Montana in a drunken state and being found sleeping on Preston’s grave. It is to be continued next year. I doubt that Stacy will “find God” or be “born again,” as I sense that the screenwriters are of Stacy’s school of thought and are attempting to capture what they see as reality. Fishing for eternity seems better than jumping into an abyss of nothingness is the message I’m getting from the series. I doubt it will have a happy ending, but I hope I’m wrong.
Next blog post: October 5
Michael Tymn is the author of The Afterlife Revealed: What Happens After We Die, Resurrecting Leonora Piper: How Science Discovered the Afterlife, Dead Men Talking: Afterlife Communication from World War I. and No One Really Dies: 25 Reasons to Believe in an Afterlife. His latest book Consciousness Beyond Death: New and Old Light on Near-Death Experiences is published by White Crow books.
The movie prompted my wife to ask me how she should dispose of my ashes when the time comes. I told her that I don’t care and that she can flush them down the toilet for all I care. She said she’d never do that and so I gave it further thought. My Hog Heaven was Ebbets Field, home of the Brooklyn Dodgers before 1958. However, there is now an apartment house there and I doubt the tenants would appreciate my ashes being scattered about. I’m thinking that perhaps there is a patch of land on the premises that she could secretly and safely dig a hole and bury them there, but I doubt it. 🙂
Michael,
I know the show you are talking about. It is a tableau of characters dealing with death. The characters deal with pain in many ways (in a rich setting). I have been there as no doubt many of those on this blog. You see many deep reactions to this pain which are based on their personal spiritual worldview.
I like “The Road to Immortality” by Geraldine Cummins giving Frederick Myers after death communications chapter seven “THE INCIDENT OF DEATH
To those of us who have reached that “unseen bourne” from which travellers in a changed aspect frequently return, death is an incident or a mere episode which we regard with a certain tenderness and not with any pain.”
Your article deals with the pain of loss and that loss spills out often. We have a saying that life is like a two-sided coin; one side has the love, and the other side is the pain of loss. The bigger the love, the greater the pain.
Thanks,
Bruce
Thanks, Bruce. Also, the greater the adversity, the greater the lessons and opportunity to advance spiritually.
Hi Mike,
This reminded me of something related to what happens when the body is buried or cremated. A few years ago, Gabriele channeled a fascinating revelation about how our physical remains may continue to influence us even after we have left the body and entered the spiritual world. If everything is energy, then our genes, too, carry an energetic imprint. And even after the physical body has been buried or reduced to ashes, that essence continues to radiate. In some cases, according to this revelation, its vibrational imprint may even have the power to draw a soul back into another incarnation on Earth—even when that soul would otherwise no longer need to return. Unresolved experiences—difficult relationships, karma, deep cravings, and other powerful attachments—are imprinted within our genes. And even when the physical genes have returned to dust and ashes, their energetic vibrations continue to resonate, potentially drawing the soul back toward another experience in the flesh. In other words, the places where our bodies have been buried or cremated throughout many lifetimes could, in this view, become energetic “landing places” for the soul if the vibrations associated with them remain sufficiently strong.
Just something to consider—and perhaps another reminder that nothing may be quite as separate or as finished as it appears.
Hans, interesting. Thanks for sharing. It all seems consistent with the studies suggesting that people receiving organ transplants acquire some of the tastes of the donor.
Michael,
I studied the Hidden Persuaders by Vance Packard. It shows the needs of people (which marketing people can address to provide new products and services). There were eight compelling needs; emotional security, reassurance of worth, ego gratification, creative outlets, love objects, sense of power, roots and immortality. The funeral industry was mentioned, although The Loved Ones was a more powerful book.
The needs for Stacy are a different combination than your wife however if the love object of the fishing spot and yours (Ebbets Field) are not possible we move to the other needs. I would market an AI version of you (creative outlet) for the next generation. Emotional security is a statue in the front garden if your wife’s budget allows.
In marketing terms the beauty industry markets hope, the afterlife industry markets immortality. I am sure that there is a new product for when we pass that resonates with this immortality need. A White Crow Hall of Fame product? Don’t worry, leave it with me.
Thanks
Bruce
What do the readers of this blog, or its author, suppose happens to an unrepentant child trafficker who passes over? Will he rest in peace, fish for eternity, merge with the divine, undergo gruelling purgatory, burn forever in hell, simply cease to exist, be reincarnated as a trafficked child, or undergo some other fate beyond our ability to imagine? Just wondering where Michael’s current congregation is on this question that has long bedeviled humanity. Do I have any takers?
Newton, I wasn’t aware of a congregation out there. As will be discussed in the next blog there are many shades of gray in everything, and I believe that applies to the afterlife condition. I suspect the child trafficker will be earthbound and stuck in what amounts to a nightmare initially, but I don’t pretend to understand time or no-time other than at some point in “time” he will begin to understand his transgressions and gradually gain awareness and slowly progress toward the light. As I see it, purgatory has many levels or degrees I think the symbolism of seven levels helps us understand. Call the top 7th heaven and the bottom hell, while the second level is Shadowland, and the third Summerland. Everything between 2 and 6 is a degree of purgatory. The guy you mentioned may be in hell now but he can slowly crawl up to the Shadowland and later to Summerland, as his consciousness or awareness expands.
In our human form of “justice”, punishment is the method intended to discourage crime. As the saying goes “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.” We have good reason to believe that each one is laying the foundation now for their life to come, and that there is a just law of compensation that closely conforms to the pattern of our living. I am less interested in the monstrous crimes of others and, to be frank, more concerned with respect to my own petty infractions against the divine order.
Me, too, David. But the question about how things are ultimately structured to deal with stark and immense evil, structured such that “all shall be well” nevertheless, has long haunted us, has it not?
Newton,
What made you choose “unrepentant child trafficker”? Given the vast number of crimes of conscience committed by the estimated hundred-plus billion people who have lived and died, presumably, slave traders, slave owners, slave breeders, and traffickers are a large cohort. Of course I don’t know, but from your list, if I had to bet, I would eliminate burning forever in hell and ceasing to exist.
Thanks for responding, Jon. Just using shorthand for someone whose life is built on the willful and wanton destruction of other lives, especially those of the most innocent and vulnerable.
Several years ago, during an Afterlife Awareness conference, a panel of mediums was asked how they respond to individuals who have lost a loved one. Their response was a grounded “I am sorry for your loss.” Regardless of the nature of death, most people experience a disruption in personal connection, often remaining unaware of the presence or appeals of “precious friends hid in death’s dateless night.” Does a belief—or even a firm conviction—in an afterlife mitigate grief? A grieving mother who accepts the platitude that “grief is a gift” is unlikely to be comforted by the death of her child at the hands of a drunk driver. Would the notion that her child is now among ministering angels alleviate her sorrow? Probably not. Is it selfish to mourn a friend who has died or relocated? I do not miss the absence of casual acquaintances, but I do miss cherished friends who are now distant.
Grief is an intrusive presence, comparable to The Man Who Came to Dinner. Does the belief that grief creates a barrier between the living and the deceased offer comfort, or does it merely compound the guilt inherent in mourning? Regardless of its effect on those who have passed, grief undeniably affects surviving friends. In this sense, grief functions as a barrier that renders us emotionally isolated and radioactive.
Do I believe that knowledge of the credible evidence for an afterlife would help somewhat to alleviate grief? Yes, I most certainly do.
David, as with almost everything, there are many degrees of grief. Stacy’s grief was pretty extreme, close to 100%, as I see it. I hesitate to put an average among the grieving spouses I have seen as so much depends on age and the deceased’s condition prior to the death. I am not aware of any credible studies attempting to measure the grief among non-believers and believers. There again, there is a wide range of belief among the believers. A good Catholic believer who thinks her husband is burning in purgatory may grieve much more than those who see purgatory as “Summerland,” the supposed third realm among seven.
In a brief consult with the great Oz, it mentioned that the degree of certainty in the afterlife (presumably a just and compassionate one) does serve to mitigate the experience of grief.
If consciousness/awareness is eternal, then this current incarnation is our last incarnation’s “heaven” or “hell” or “purgatory” or some such notion. I see no reason why the next realm should be significantly more profound than this one. For the one who has “eyes to see” and “ears to hear” this is already plenty to enjoy or suffer, most likely both. My 84-year-old mother is on nearing her transition into her next realm and she says she is not afraid. Her theme message is, “Life goes by so quickly. It all goes by so quickly.” So, my unasked for advice? Don’t wait around for someone to love you or take you to a movie or take you for a weekend mountain cabin trip. Take yourself. No one gives a damn for you like you can! Whatever you want, go for it. Live it up! Run naked along an ocean shoreline! Kiss your best friend. If it’s awkward, tell him (her) you plan on dying tonight and you want him (her) to know how you feel. I’m 63 and I’ve finally begun to figure out that almost no one is going to attend my funeral and even of those who do, the vast majority will be wondering if there’s going to be a good variety of food afterwards.
Newton,
Nice to see the congregation getting a discussion point. From the back pews I can add some observations before the collection plate comes around. I like Rowan Atkinson version, where Rowan plays the devil, also known as ‘Toby’, as he welcomes new people to hell. The grouping is unusual, with bank managers mixed with criminals. It shows how a spiritual person judges character.
However, in a more serious answer, Myers describes Hades in The Road to Immortality by Geraldine Cummins (available in the WC bookshop) and the need to resist bad spirits.
“Human beings of brutal character, murderers, criminals, drug addicts, bullies, unscrupulous financiers who crave only for power, individuals possessed by jealousy or the desire for revenge, congregate in this sphere and are entrapped in their one absorbing passion and in the deeply rooted habits it has engendered during their earth life.
The student must clearly understand that such beings can only obsess men and women who are, in some respect, psychically defective. Self-centred or weak-willed individuals, inert or undeveloped souls, for instance, open the door to them, whereas healthy, well-balanced people cannot be approached by these dregs of humanity who have been tossed up on the shores of death and have as a rule little or no sense of their responsibility with regard to their fellow men. They find themselves in darkness, the night of base passions and an all-absorbing egoism, and, in their distress, they crave with all the power of their natures for the earth life from which they have been severed. No real sense of a higher life, of a spiritual universe has ever been theirs, so they stray about within this intermediate world until, at last, they come upon a light and perceive a human being.”
I always get asked about “where do the bad people go”. I refer them to Anthony Borgia books. This is the forgiving version of finding and helping bad souls. I like the older daughter, Abigail’s reaction. Nice to see a hardliner.
I better go now as the collection plate has started,
Thanks,
Bruce
So you are lying in a rotting body “looking” thru the the casket and six foot of soil at your favorite spot.
Ridiculous,anyone that is spiritually aware knows we leave the body when it dies and return home.
All going well,as we know our thoughts can delay this.
The body has to die thats how we separate from it.
Oh well the sleepers will remain asleep I guess.
Years ago, I had referred in my comments on this wonderful blog of Michael’s to the group of us participants being like a congregation. Then, as now, I used the term affectionately, pointing to a sort of voluntary, gracious spiritual fellowship.
That clarified, thanks to all who responded to my question about what may happen to very bad people in the next realm of existence, should there be one as most, if not all, of us here affirm and believe. Like Michael, the gist of my personal belief is that eternal conscious torment is not a fate that any God worth our seeking would confer on even the worst actors among us. But I also carry a strong intuition/intimation that there will be a most daunting price to pay in the afterlife for the living of this life in a wantonly cruel manner.
Perhaps the mildest punishment God might impose would be to reincarnate the evildoer back into this vale of tears, to offer a second chance to pursue goodness, truth, and beauty while again being compelled to undergo the pain and suffering that inherently attends self-conscious mortality.
Immersed as we are these days in New Age thinking, we tend to forget that reincarnation was originally considered not an opportunity to more fully develop one’s human potential but rather a curse or a prison to be freed from. The great goal or task of earthly existence was to escape the seemingly endless cycle of one life of pain and suffering following another.
Thanks for your comments, Newton. As for reincarnation, I still favor the Group Soul idea as Myers explained it. I confess, however, that my preference for it is emotionally based as I don’t want to do this again. Below from a prior post:
The group-soul concept had earlier been advanced by the discarnate Frederic Myers through the mediumship of Geraldine Cummins. “When I was on earth, I belonged to a group-soul, but its branches and the spirit – which might be compared to the roots – were in the invisible,” Myers, one of the pioneers of psychical research before his death in 1901, communicated. “Now, if you would understand psychic evolution, this group-soul must be studied and understood. For instance, it explains many of the difficulties that people will assure you can be removed only by the doctrine of reincarnation. You may think my statement frivolous, but the fact that we do appear on earth to be paying for the sins of another life is, in a certain sense, true. It is our life and yet not our life. In other words, a soul belonging to the group of which I am a part lived that previous life which built up for me the framework of my earthly life, lived it before I had passed through the gates of birth.”
Myers further explained that the group soul might contain twenty souls, a hundred, or a thousand. “The number varies,” he said. “It is different for each man. But what the Buddhist would call the karma I had brought with me from a previous life is, very frequently, not that of my life, but of the life of a soul that preceded me by many years on earth and left for me the pattern which made my life. I, too, wove a pattern for another of my group during my earthly career.”
Myers added that the Buddhist’s idea of rebirth, of man’s continual return to earth, is but a half-truth. “And often half a truth is more inaccurate than an entire misstatement. I shall not live again on earth, but a new soul, one who will join our group, will shortly enter into the pattern or karma I have woven for him on earth.”
Myers likened the soul to a spectator caught within the spell of some drama outside of its actual life, perceiving all the consequences of acts, moods, and thoughts of a kindred soul. He further pointed out that there are an infinite variety of conditions in the invisible world and that he made no claim to being infallible. He called it a “general rule” based on what he had learned and experienced on the Other Side.
The group soul concept attracts me as well, Michael. Are you familiar with a book by Gustav Fechner called “The Little Book of Life After Death”? You may well already know about this 18th Century German polymath greatly valued by William James, who wrote an introduction to the English version of his particular book. If you’re not familiar with Fechner, suffice it to say that he lays out a unique metaphysics grounded in the natural world, yet also permeated by the spiritual concept of the group soul.
Newton, I just searched my books and found that one. Read it in December 1998. Now have it on my desk to reread. Thanks.