Love, Marriage and Sex
AG: We all know what love is. And if I ask you what it is, what would you say?
AG: No. it is resonance. Being in resonance.
If I love somebody I am trying to be one with them. With him, with her, with this or that, and the more I can unify myself with the object, the better I comprehend the object. If I unify myself with this chair down to the last atom, I shall have all knowledge of this chair, and I will know exactly everything about this chair: where the wood comes from, how it grew, who cut it down, who made it out of the timber, who supplied it and so on. The whole knowledge of it will come to me. I will fit into the field of the tree and therefore the whole history of the tree will be perfectly understandable to me. Now that is what we have to be. We have to draw light into the Earth. Therefore the whole technique of prayer is not only to open oneself to the light but at the same time as the light comes to me, to light the fire. That means to direct myself towards the field, and the field not only of understanding but the field of wisdom, that means loving. Being in resonance.
When I strike a tuning fork here, and an instrument with a string stands over there, the string will respond. Now that is resonance between two patterns of life, that means between man and woman, between man and an object, man and a plant. And if I am in resonance, then when I change as a result of any problem, the resonating field will immediately advise me that there is something wrong with the resonance. That’s how the plant will immediately know that I am not well, because in that case the plant cannot be in resonance with me, and won’t be. You follow then, how the Field Theory explains quite a lot of things.
Now this resonance of the field brings not only understanding, that means a conception, but also resonating, meaning that my whole essence is one with the tune. It’s a sort of treble and bass accompaniment in music. The right hand plays the tune and left hand plays the background. Strange enough here you have the sensation of man and woman, bass and treble. But they have to be in unison in the same key. In modern music it’s different; you have several keys and therefore you can feel the dissonance.
But here, you have to bring in light and love, that is understanding and resonating, and then you experience a perfect closed circuit. Your energy goes up, and comes back to you.
There is a perfect feedback, and this feedback immediately reinforces your personal vibration. Therefore you can grow.
Therefore with any man who really loves a woman, or a woman who loves a man, they usually grow better and not worse. If they are in perfect resonance. If not, if the resonance is limited to the body and doesn’t extend to the spirit, they may deteriorate because there is more and more distance between the two; in their tuning. If it is only spiritual and not a physical resonance, there may be also dissonance but we’ll see shortly that it is not so. Because the love between man and woman is a most peculiar phenomenon, and it’s this sacrament, that is much more important than the Eucharist. To begin with, this will come as a shock to the theologian, but eventually he will say, “You’re quite right. Why didn’t we see it?”
For fifteen hundred years marriage was seen as a necessary evil. Because they thought that sex was an evil force. That it’s dirty. And then at the Grand Council of Trent, marriage was defined as a sacrament, that means, a means of sanctification. Reluctantly, but it was derived from the Bible. They accepted it but still persisted in their view that after all the perfect state is the virginal state. Eventually, they’ve come to the conclusion that sex is not necessary filth.
In any sort of relationship between man and woman, when they are attracted to one another, there is a certain radiation between the two, a certain excitement, mental, physical or spiritual. There is a certain excitement of the life force.
No doubt about it. The in-touchness of two fields stimulates the life force to be active. Now this life force is usually radiated away. If you put a pendulum in front of a man who has drunk a lot, you will find that the pendulum makes all sorts of fantastic movements. He loses energy. Energy pours out of him, it doesn’t come back and therefore next day he has a hangover. Because he has lost too much energy. In sex the life energy goes out but should come back from the other partner. And then it’s a closed circuit, and there is no hangover, provided there is the right love. Now love—the life force, can be represented as a circle, going out and coming back. But in the course of a lifetime of growing consciousness, beliefs of different kinds constellate.
There’s the belief that I can’t see in darkness and therefore I put up blockages against my sensitivity to infra-red. And then I don’t see in darkness. Another blockage for example is that I can’t stand this or that food. All those sets of beliefs grow within my circulation of energy. Eventually the life force has to force itself more and more through those blockages. As time goes by, the amount of my blockages increases and eventually the life force cannot pass through them. We become senile and we die. Because we don’t get our energy back. The energy goes out to the Generator (with a capital “G”).
You may have seen a program on TV called “The Human Jungle”, where Doctor Corder, a psychologist, solves the problems of different women. Invariably the woman falls in love with the psychologist because he releases one of her complexes. She is so relieved to be so free that she sees this man as her redeemer. He is the one who brought her salvation. Poor Doctor Corder is in a terrific dilemma because he hasn’t got any romantic feeling toward this woman, but she has become crazy about him. And then comes the husband who starts to make scenes about it, and stops the woman from being cured. The woman goes back to the husband. The doctor somehow goes back to the man, the plot becomes complicated and eventually the woman is relieved of her complex. After a few months she is also relieved of her love for Doctor Corder. She goes back to her husband, but she is a totally different person. And Doctor Corder says, “Thank God I’m free.”
Now something of this kind should go on in a marriage, because the man is not affected by the same association of the blockage that the woman has. They may have the same blockage but their mental associations are different. Therefore my radiation going out to my partner also contains my blockages, but the partner doesn’t accept them and sees through them. Only the true radiation gets through; the rest is stopped and rejected. The true radiation from the partner comes back to me, uncontaminated by blockages. And because I have been relieved of my blockages, I fall in love with the partner. The secret of permanent love is that the partners have to solve each others’ blockages, one after the other, through the flow of vital force from one to the other, where each partner sees the blockage of the other partner and rejects it.
Rudolf von Urban wrote the book Sex Perfection which is mostly sex business and not very interesting, but there are two cases really of interest, one of an “electrical” girl and one of a neurotic girl.
A married couple are fantastically in love. After marriage, they are naked together, lying on a bed. There’s no intercourse, but they are absolutely happy. But when they stand up, the man sees his wife in a halo of fiery light. He approaches her and sparks pass between them. He is terrified, because of the electric shock. So he goes to the doctor to ask his advice. The doctor is very interested, because he is a psychologist and a doctor and a physicist. He asks the man to repeat the experiment in different ways, to find out when the radiation stops, when it emerges and so on. This is one case.
The other case is of a neurotic girl. A beautiful blonde girl is terrified of men. If a man is in the same room with her she starts shaking. She can’t stand the presence of men. None of the famous psychologists that she consulted can find the root of her problem. She’d tried analysis with various psychologists and eventually she ends up in the clinic of Doctor von Urban where the only personnel are women. There are no men except for him and a young doctor who is in charge of the clinic. She is sent there as a deputy secretary to do some typing. To begin with she is very uncomfortable with the presence of the younger doctor, but eventually she gets accustomed to him so that he doesn’t affect her.
They still can’t find the root of her problem. The young doctor falls in love with the young girl, but cannot win her as she can’t stand the presence of any men. But after two years she is not only accustomed to him, but she starts to sympathize with the young man. Eventually she agrees to marry him on condition that there won’t be any intercourse between them. He agrees to that because he is terribly in love with this girl.
They marry, and after six weeks of marriage they finally go to bed together. He’s had several affairs with different women and he knows all about love, physical love, but she doesn’t know anything. He has to fight in order to keep his promise. They lie beside each other. After half an hour they realize that something terrific is happening between them. They don’t know what it is but it grows and grows, and they sense a flow. They reach an ecstatic state and eventually, after several hours, they cannot stand it, so they have to get up, take a bath and rub themselves with some wet towels. Because the ecstasy is too great. Later on they described it as something out of this world. Time didn’t exist. They were in a different world altogether. He said he’d never felt such happiness in his life. They go to Rudolf von Urban who does various experiments, and he comes to certain conclusions. The ecstatic state goes on for fifteen years. After fifteen years they have their first intercourse. This state disappears and never comes back. Rudolf von Urban concludes that the couple experienced Platonic Love that Greeks knew about, but about which all knowledge has since been lost. Probably other couples experience it too but they never talk about it. For couples this experience is repeatable. And that is real love.
In accordance with the field theory, I wrote a paper on the theology of marriage, around 1957 and sent it to Rome, but received no comments. I used a pseudonym because I didn’t want to be pestered by being called to Rome to do further researches. That’s not my job. So I wrote under the pseudonym, Paul Brother. I sent it to my bishop. My bishop knows who wrote it, but he cannot publically review it. So I am safe. Anyway, the story is this. I started by analyzing marriage from the point of view of the Bible. The teaching of the Church is that marriage is a sacred thing and that its purpose is the procreation of children. Now if the church taught that for hundreds of years here is the puzzle.
In Genesis, after the Fall God turns to Eve and tells her, “I will multiply your pains and your conceptions.” Not “in your conceptions” as some of the translators wanted to put it. It’s obviously a twisting of the Bible. The Hebrew text, the Greek text and the Latin text all have “and” and not “in”. Theologians call it a sort of symbolic language but it is not. What does it mean? It’s a curse, and not a blessing. It means that the woman cannot control her conceptions.
Further in the Bible we see that the relationship between God and Israel is a marriage relationship. So said the prophets, “I’m your husband, you are my wife. You’re unfaithful to me because you go to other gods.” Also God said to Hosea, “Go to this town. You’ll find a married woman. Take her as a partner and you will produce living children. That is a living picture of the relationship between me and Israel.” The betrothal is on Mount Sinai, and then the marriage. And it goes on and on. The same is repeated in the New Testament. Christ says, “The Kingdom of God is like a wedding party.” St Paul picks up the same theme, especially in his letter to the Ephesians. In Chapter 5 he says that the relationship of Christ and the Church is a marriage. And other marriages have to conform to it. And it’s not just words. He means what he says. And you have the second letter to Corinthians, Chapter 11, “I have married you as a pure virgin to Christ, as a new man. And I am the groom’s best friend, the best man.”
Now what follows from that? To begin with, what is the aim of the marriage between God and Israel? Is it the procreation of children? Obviously not. It’s to multiply the children of God through the redemption of Israel and to bring them to God.
Christ repeats that in his speech to Nicodemus when he says, “If somebody is not reborn of water and the Holy Spirit he will not enter the Kingdom.” The greatest marriage that ever existed is the Incarnation. God nature takes human nature, two of them into one partnership, one person. There are two in one. And the purpose of this marriage, the supreme marriage is what? It’s redemption. The radiating away of the love of these two, married into unity. And therefore every marriage should conform to this marriage, of the Incarnation. And it’s obvious from what I said that in every marriage there is this natural phenomenon of ecstasy, of life force, on which and only on which the life force of God can be superimposed and distributed. Because Grace never destroys nature but builds upon nature. Therefore whatever Grace has to do it does it through natural laws. So the Grace of the overconscious must marry the unconscious, which is just the Incarnation as you see here, where the bonds of self have been broken. Christ as perfect Man is a perfect marriage where the radiation of the life force of natural phenomena is the foundation upon which the supernatural marriage of God and humanity is accomplished.
Hence the first and primary aim of marriage is redemption. Like Christ’s Incarnation was a redemption. As Christ took on the complexes of human beings on himself and gave his wife the resurrection, so also the partners both have to do the same, in circulating energy of one to the other. Therefore the prime aim of marriage is children—spiritual children. Not physical.
The second aim of marriage is the longevity of both parties, because senility comes from different blockages. If the partner can solve my block, then the partner brings me true revival, true freedom. I can breathe and energy starts to work in me again. The field starts to create, and therefore the life forces return to me and don’t go out to the Generator. As in a wireless with a resonant circuit, if there isn’t perfect resonance, part of the energy goes back into the power source. If there is perfect resonance there’s no loss of energy. Actually such a thing doesn’t exist as heat is emitted through the wires, and that is a loss of energy. But in perfect resonance, the energy lost from the mains is very small.
There is no heat loss. I told you that heat is one of the primary things about us. You follow? It links all things together. And therefore in a perfect marriage where two people love one another in resonance, their union brings out their complexes, and they solve them and they never lose energy. Therefore they permanently reduce their senility, returning to normal activity, apparently twenty-five or thirty years old. And they never age beyond that. There is no death.
They can go to the next level, and then they disappear lock stock and barrel from one level to appear on another level. We haven’t reached that state yet. Except for Elijah and Enoch in Old Testament. Those are two cases. There are two cases in the Old and New Testament of physical transference from one place to another: Daniel being fed by Habakkuk and Philip who was taken to the town of Azotus, in Acts. Those cases are of physical transference. But the only two cases that concern transference from one level to another are of Enoch and Elijah.
Now you can see that the relationship between man and woman must be primarily a field relationship, and not a physical relationship. The physical may come in as the third possible connection, but it may ruin the first two completely, as in the case told by Rudolf Von Urban of the neurotic girl. And in that case it would be a sacrifice to have a physical relationship with one another. Because that means a danger of losing that fantastic, ecstatic state that you had acquired. But we maintain a set of beliefs, habits inborn in us, that the only, primary purpose in marriage is sexual. Once we switch off that set of beliefs we see that the physical relationship is not the main purpose, and it may lead to calamity.
You start then to think in terms of resonance, of spiritual communion, of spiritual orgasm, of spiritual communion of your field with God. I call it Divine Sex. When you start to touch the field of God, it’s a question of in-touchness. And that’s what they call prayer. Meaning resonance with Him.
You can be in such a perfect marriage with God, with plants, with women, with men, with anybody. Often there is no outer indication of it. Very often we don’t even know that we have a relationship of such kind with this man or that woman. For goodness sake don’t spoil it with any sort of physical tangent, because you will ruin the relationship. You will lose the thrill of tremendous love that comes from the heart, of being totally one with the whole environment.
Sometimes young girls fall in love with me, and just want to be constantly with me. I said to one, “My dear child, I love you tremendously. I love you so much, with infinite love. As God loves you so I love you too. She looked at me and said, “Oh no, how dare you!” I said, “That’s my love, and the reason for life is His love; as much as He loves the little creatures. You want by your love to be possessive of me. I don’t know how. It won’t give you peace because you are afraid of losing me. You want me to love only you, and therefore you narrow yourself to a certain limit. I give you my love. In that love your ego is gone, and your life is free because you are married to Creation.” She got all upset.
She wanted to marry me. I replied, “Dear child I am married already to Creation, so I cannot marry you. I’m sorry. Even so, I could not marry you. That’s my life. And I would want to teach you the same love.” After a certain time she started to understand, and she said, “Now I am free, and this love is so beautiful. It gives you a feeling of serenity, and I can go now and love another boy and still have the background of your love.” I replied, “I would not want anything else.”
And now she understands and said to me, “You are a totally loving person, of freedom and peace.”
Sometimes when I talk about such things, at meetings or church fellowship, somebody says to me, “What can you know about love? You are Roman Catholic and not married.” And I say, “I beg your pardon, it’s my profession. And you can’t tell me that I’m not a professional lover.” “What kind of love?” “Ah this is a thing to discuss. And this sort of love has nothing to do with the physical love that you have in mind, that involves jealousy.” There is no jealousy in this love. There is no possession. Only giving. And if I in my profession fall in love in perfect resonance, and a girl tells me, “I want to go with another man as I will be happy with him,” I will be overjoyed. I will say to her, “Go and have him.
Because the only love I have is for you to be happy and not for me to protect you, using you as an instrument for my happiness.”
So love as you can see now, and I just touch upon it, is a resonance of fields, and such love has to be your resonance to the great field of the universe, to mankind, that means your subconscious mind, and the great love of the overconscious which is collective too, and belongs to everybody around. Like Grace it goes from me to Anna and from me to Sylvia and to Bruce and to Bill and then to Ludi and Barbara and so on. It grows like the sap in a particular plant, from cell to cell. And if the cell closes itself, it dies and the plant is deprived of further food. So we must pass love on, and then go on in in-touchness with the whole of Creation, imagining your love as a tremendous field, of many tendrils, Aka Chords the Huna would say, touching the whole of Creation, millions of them, resonating, and bringing all that to the supreme field which is His, resonating with Him as an offering.
It’s not a sacrifice in the sense that I suffer for this. He, Christ has taken all the pain of it. I once asked Christ to give me all the pains of everyone, provided that everyone would be happy. I’m offering myself to take everyone’s pain provided everyone would be safe. But He said, “Oh no. I have done it. You can’t do it a second time. Sorry, I reserve for you the joys, and not the pains.” And if you find one place in the Bible where Christ asks you to multiply your crosses every day, then I shall give you twenty-five quid. It’s not much, a little for me. He always says—meet the crosses of the day and when you meet them with love, the crosses vanish. There’s no cross. If I love somebody there’s no cross for me. And what a joy it is. Because I love. And when you love Creation, there is no pain. Because the very moment that you are in pain, it’s gone. You are happy that you can do something for Creation. So you see, real love brings you to joy, peace and serenity. And you are in contact with Creation and in contact with God.
Love, Marriage and Sex is an extract from The Haromony of the Universe by Andrew Glazewski with Paul Kieniewicz