All that is real can be measured, nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the certainty of Scientism.

Be still and know that you are nothing more than meat animated – that your thoughts are not your own but merely neural impulses prodding you to move this way or that – to eat, procreate and kill, from birth to death. Herein lies the certainty of Scientism.

Be assured that whatever you begat in life, whether it be offspring or war, you will not suffer the consequences of your thoughts and actions after death because after death you will not exist because you cannot exist. Herein lies the certainty of Scientism.

Thou shalt deny evidence contrary to the teachings of Scientism even if it be abundant. It shall be deemed anecdote, and as such, in the eyes of Scientism is unreal and does not exist because it cannot exist. Herein lies the certainty of Scientism.

If empiricists, autodidacts and theists proclaim this and that, rest assured that you can retort “There is no scientific evidence for this and that” and because you have not, cannot or will not measure evidence in a way you would like, it is not scientific evidence and therefore does not exist. Herein lies the certainty of Scientism.

If thou shalt desire to measure unreal anecdotes, thou shalt count one hundred or more and codify the unreal in a Journal of Scientism, thus, the unreal becomes real. Herein lies the certainty of Scientism.

Thou shalt proselytize and proclaim Scientism to the masses without wavering from the model, for to do so leads to uncertainty, the realm of darkness and mystery where faith and belief are rampant, and belief is anathema.
Herein lies the certainty of Scientism.