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Is There Marriage in the Afterlife?

Posted on 26 January 2015, 10:26

“Until death do us part” is a pledge in marriage liturgy, but there have been many messages from the spirit world suggesting that such is not always the case. That is, love bonds often continue after death.  “If [marriages in the physical realm] are based in selfishness, they necessarily terminate sooner or later; but if true and well fitted, the spiritual dominating when on Earth, they continue on in our world of spirits,” one spirit communicator is quoted by Miles Edward Allen in his latest book, Astral Intimacy.  “If a husband has had several wives, or a wife several husbands, the tie endures only between the most congenial pair,” another spirit communicator is quoted.


“Until death us do us part” is a pledge in marriage liturgy, but there have been many messages from the spirit world suggesting that such is not always the case. That is, love bonds often continue after death.

In effect, the book is a collection of messages from the spirit world, an encyclopedia of spirit communication about the afterlife as recorded by dozens of mediums, researchers,  and authors between 1852 and 2001.  Love bonds in the afterlife make up only a small portion of the hundreds of messages quoted, but the title of the book and the subtitle, “Fifty Spirits Speak About Life, Love, and Sex After Death” are teasers aimed at drawing attention to the book.  Nevertheless, there are several dozen quotes dealing with astral love and sex.  One message states that sex in the spirit realms is different than in the physical world. “It is more obviously like what sex really means,” the spirit communicator offered.  “Here you actually can enter the whole person.  It is like you are in fact merging.”

Allen has drawn from 50 different sources, many of them well-known researchers, such as Alan Kardec, William Stainton Moses, Sir Oliver Lodge, John Edmonds, and William T. Stead, among the older ones, and Neal Donald Walsch, Martha Barham, Ruth Taylor, and Michael Newton among the more recent. 

I am unaware of any other collection of quotes as comprehensive as this one.  Allen prefaces the encyclopedia part of this book with some discussion of the sources and the phenomena giving rise to them.  This should be a valuable travel guide for anyone expecting to take the ultimate journey. 

Here are some other quotes from the book:

Separation of Body & Spirit:  “When I left my body, I found that I could not free myself from the entanglements of Earth for a considerable period…It seems that every soul must pass through such a condition…With some souls this is only a matter of a few hours or days; with others it may occupy years…Only the enlightened soul can traverse rapidly the spheres of the denser astral.”

Many Mansions: “You ask them which heaven they inhabit, because you have the idea of several heavens, placed one above the other, like the stories of a house, and they therefore answer you according to your own ideas; but, for them, the words, ‘third,’ ‘fourth,’ or ‘fifth’ heaven, express different degrees of purification, and consequently of happiness.”

Earthbound Spirits: “A number of spirits do live and spend most of their time near the Earth, but they are the very unprogressed and find their pleasures in mingling with mortals.”

Heaven: “Some may inhabit [a conventional heaven] until they learn through their own experience that existence demands development and that such a heaven would be sterile, boring, and indeed ‘deadly’.”

Distorted Views: “It is a wondrous land of light, where the beauties of nature, as seen on Earth, are brought to perfection…The great pity is that it is so long before some spirits even begin to see it as it really is. Some of these spirits who have not progressed far enough to see and realize the beauty about them, when communicating with their friends on Earth, give them quite wrong and dissimilar impressions of conditions over here.”

Soul Vibration:  “While you are still on Earth, your thought, your intentions, everything you do, gives your soul a certain rate of vibration…When you die and manifest here, you would go straight to the part of our world that vibrates at [that rate].”

Spirit Body: “There is an inner, etheric body, composed of minute particles, of such substance that it can, and does, pass into spirit life…It is in the semblance of the material body, but whether beautiful or ugly, strong or weak, depends upon the inner life of the person.”

Gender Identity: “Those of us who have lived on Earth or elsewhere usually consider ourselves as male or female in our own thoughts.  We can project our image to another soul in that form. But we have no gender, not really.”

Rest: “The spirit’s need of rest depends on its particular degree of development, diminishing in proportion to its advancement from the material plane.”

Food & Drink: “We eat and drink, but it is not what you mean by eating and drinking.  To us it is a mental condition.  We enjoy it mentally, not bodily; as you do.”

Clothing: “One’s garments here are made from one’s quality of character.”

Aging: “Our aging is different from yours.  Young people here grow much faster than on Earth in body, mind, and spirit until they reach maturity in body that would correspond to healthy, robust Earth humans 30 to 35 years in age.  At that point they maintain that body and continue grow only in mind and spirit.  The reverse is true for people who arrive in their advanced years.”

Life Review:  “There is no compulsion, of course, to review one’s past life on Earth as soon as one arrives and the new life here begins. Some take a long while to tackle the problem.  They dread to see the effects of mistakes and failures.”

Night & Day: “The light we have is obtained from the action of our minds on the atmosphere.  We think light, and there is light.  That is why people who come over in evil conditions are in the dark; their minds are not competent to produce light enough for them to see. There is greater intensity of light as we go up through the spheres which comes from the blending of the more spiritual minds.”

Time: “There are three kinds of time: sidereal or clock time; psychological time; and orthic time…Orthic time is the reality.  Sidereal time, which is a reality to you, is only an attribute of matter.”

Inspiration:  “Spirit-guides…try literally to inspire those on Earth.  This does not mean in religious matters only; it applies to art, science, engineering, medicine, or any other subject.”

Government: “There is a succession of graduate planes or evolutionary steps over here, each governed or mastered by the most advanced soul on that plane.”

Communication: “Thoughts, being motions of the mind, assume specific and definite forms, and when distinct in the mind can be clearly perceived and understood by any spirit who is in sympathy with the mind in which they are generated.”

Language: “I was able to have a word or two with Pierre Curie, even though on Earth he was a Frenchman and my French was never fluent.  Language affords no difficulty over here; and I yet do not know if I spoke in French or he in English.  Or even if, in the Earthly sense we ‘spoke’ at all!”

Travel: “In a very short time, the soul learns that it can go anywhere – with the speed of thought.”

Occupations: “As there is choice of occupation on Earth, so there is even greater choice of occupation in what you may like to call ‘heaven.’ I find the latitude in our choices here to be quite incredible.”

Pets: “All the dogs that we’ve had in our family I can find here – all of them.  They are still individualized.  However, the dogs that I knew when I was a boy are no longer here…They have gone back to the group soul.”

Suicide: “Persons who commit suicide before the time they are meant to die find themselves in a state of heavier vibration and closer to the earth than those of us who died natural deaths.  They remain in this state of density until the time when they would have normally died.”

Religion:  “There are Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, and Quakers here, and all the different sects of religious beliefs, just as among you. There are those who bow to the supremacy of a spiritual pope…True, they encounter much to surprise them when they enter here.  Heaven is altogether different from what they pictured, but their beliefs and prejudices are stronger than the facts which come under their observation, and so they merely readjust themselves, still clinging as far as possible to their old tenets; but the time comes, sooner or later, when they grow out of those superstitions.”

Allen offers hundreds of other quotes, providing the reference for each one.  While most are in agreement with each other, some are to some extent conflicting,  possibly the result of the degree of advancement of the communicating spirit, others to faulty filtering through the medium.  As Sir Oliver Lodge, the esteemed British physicist and pioneering psychical researcher, once said, “...all the communications I receive, I receive with caution, and with a consequent need for interpretation; but received in that spirit, I find them interesting and instructive.”

Michael Tymn is the author of The Afterlife Revealed: What Happens After We Die is published by White Crow Books. His latest book, Resurrecting Leonora Piper: How Science Discovered the Afterlife is now available on Amazon and other online book stores.
His latest book Dead Men Talking: Afterlife Communication from World War I is published by White Crow Books.

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Next blog post: Feb. 9


Rex, regarding your chances of afterlife intimacy, you would find Cyrus Kirkpatrick providing an interesting and refreshing perspective. Combining his own astral travelling to near-Earth planes, afterlife research and related topics, he emphasizes the similarity of those planes with this one. To these inhabitants, their bodies and world are “physical”. As this blog notes, they become younger in appearance, and more beautiful. No danger of pregnancy or STDs. No worry about scarcity of time/death. Imagine the possibilities!
His books: Understanding life after death, and Beyond the Afterlife.

Daniel Kealey, Fri 27 Sep, 04:40

Rex, Elene, and Amos,

Thank you for your comments.  I pretty much agree with Amos and don’t really concern myself with it, at least “marriage,” per se.  I believe there is something to the soulmates theory, but, as with reincarnation, I don’t think it plays out as people who believe in it tend to think.  I lean toward the “group soul” explanation, but accept that it is pretty much beyond human comprehension. 

I don’t Rex will be left “wanting.”

It’s too bad that the 4-year-old daughter of Elene’s patient can’t be recorded as to what her deceased cousin has told her about “heaven.”

Michael Tymn, Wed 28 Jan, 08:10

It may be that the answer to the question of whether or not there is ‘marriage’ or ‘intimacy’ in heaven depends on one’s belief system.  If one sees spiritual existence the same as physical existence then I suppose one would imagine a sexual liaison with, one’s previous spouse, with Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley or with 18 virgins. Spiritual life however is a different paradigm, I think,  and should not be expected to be identical or even similar to physical life.  There is no need to reproduce another physical body in the spiritual realm. That is part of the physical realm.

I tend to think that we neither marry nor are given in marriage in the spirit world.  That is not to say that relationships don’t continue there.  Marriage is a construct of earth societies and cultures of religion.  If one believes in reincarnation, then we have spent many lifetimes in many relationships in which we played the roles of both husband and wife, parent and child, friends and enemies. I suppose that there could be a so-called ‘soul-mate’—-a spirit entity with which we have a certain affinity and with whom we have spent many lifetimes together. Perhaps these ‘soul-mates’ would associate more closely in ‘heaven’ and choose to reincarnate together in the same or another relationship in another lifetime.  Maybe not!

Only someone who has never been in a relationship would think that marriage and intimacy are fundamental to who we are as human beings. While an intimate relationship may clarify who one is, I don’t think that it is a fundamental requirement for one’s identity as a human being. A solitary life may in many ways be necessary for the advancement of one’s soul. - AOD

Amos Oliver Doyle, Tue 27 Jan, 16:35

Well, as you know, Mike, I have stories about “astral intimacy,” though I’ve been a bit shy about putting them forth in public!  I’m glad someone has brought up the subject even if that’s only a small part of the book.

I can only imagine that romantic matters must get extremely complicated for many of us….

Regarding differing experiences of “heaven” and the afterlife environment:  A patient reported to me today that her 4-year-old daughter, who goes to a religious school, said that the teacher had been telling the class about heaven.  She knew all that was wrong, she told her mom, because, since her cousin died two years ago, he has told her so much about it. She very diplomatically added, “But she’s the teacher, so I didn’t argue with her.” I wish the teacher could in fact hear what she has to say.

Elene, Tue 27 Jan, 08:19

Is there mariage and intimacy in the afterlife ?
Given the urgency of this question I’m surprised there isn’t more attention give to this issue by supposed psychic researchers or afterlife investigators, because the whole question is fundamental to who we are as human beings.

Katie King, an alleged personality from 17th century England, who is claimed to have materialised in seances given by the British medium Florence Cook in 1873-74, stated that she was “working off her sins” in the afterlife realm, perhaps indicating some sort of purgatory.  It seems her marriage had not been a happy one, and she had actually murdered her abusive husband.  When asked by one of the seance sitters if she had re-married in the afterlife realm, she replied simply : “of course”. 

In fact I always hated the traditional church teaching that after death we become disembodied entities : “In the kingdom Of God they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like the angels in Heaven”  Well it seems that Jesus or the gospel writers simply got it wrong, and thank Heavens they did (pardon the pun). 

This is a particularly urgent question for me, since I seem doomed to perpetual bachelorhood on this Earth, and would like to know if I “miss out” in this world would I stand a better chance in the next realm. I’ve heard some testimony that Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle is in touch with Marilyn Monroe where he is now.  Lucky Devil.

Greetings from cold and wet Sydney, where Summer has gone missing in action,  Rex.

rex fleming, Mon 26 Jan, 23:42

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“Life After Death – The Communicator” by Paul Beard – If the telephone rings, naturally the caller is expected to identify himself. In post-mortem communication, necessitating something far more complex than a telephone, it is not enough to seek the speakers identity. One needs to estimate also as far as is possible his present status and stature. This involves a number of factors, overlapping and hard to keep separate, each bringing its own kind of difficulty. Four such factors can readily be named. Read here
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